Forever Your’s

It was a beautiful day when Arvind was to take his scheduled bus to Kota. He chose to commute by bus to buy out time; he would need it anyways to plan out even the miniscule details to perfection. There was no way he could allow even one mistake on his part this time. The bus driver stepped in the bus and looked around, Arvind’s heart was racing and the nervous excitement was almost palpable. He seemingly and willfully allowed the feel to percolate and infect his senses. He enjoyed every moment that was to take him to Kota, to Charu.

The bus driver injected the keys into the engine, it sniffed with a roar and in no time the engine was bought to life. The engine pipe vomited the thick black vapour into the air and bang, the bus was now leaving behind the by passengers, the tea stall and in no time the bus stand had vanished giving way to the green plush turf. Arvind squirmed to adjust himself to comfort and closed his eyes, moist by now with nostalgia. He parted his dry lips to a soft mumble “Here I come…”

The journey had begun and the roads stood besieged, as if waiting to take him to his love, who had once been her life and still was. The time flew by ever since he had last met her, the memories were afresh and his love intact.

He slowly dragged the brown envelope from his bag and began reading it. He had lost count of the times he had been through the black print, and consequently the agony. Infact, he had read it the day he last met Charu. The final letters of the report gave him the courage to do what he had been planning so long.

Adjusting himself once again to the narrow to the comfort seat of the bus, he started reading it again. Slowly. Carefully.

“Listen”, he darted back at the tear filled eye “I think I have had enough of all this. I have bagged a job in the States that I was after for so long and there’s no holding me back now. Not even you.”

A drop trickled down her flushed cheeks. “Not even me?” she croaked with effort.

I never intend to hold you back Arvind. I just need you, your love. Please don’t do this to me. Not now when ...”

“Not now? He barked cutting her short. He turned afraid she might read what was going on in his mind. He wanted to throw his arms around her embrace her to a tight hug and promise to never leave her. A promise he intended to honour. A promise he knew he could never honour, not when he had been diagnosed of leukemia.

She stood there speechless, looking at Arvind in the eye, searching for one weak moment that he would surrender to for she knew Arvind was genuinely in love with her, until now.

He turned to leave.

The bus driver slammed the brakes dragging Arvind out of his reverie. He gave a last look at the pages he held before folding them back neatly in the envelope.

The night passed in anticipation and at 7 am, the tyres screeched to bring the bus to a halt.

“Kota”, announced the bus helper.

He took the lane straight to 12, Narendra Road carrying the butterflies in his stomach. He kept making images of how Charu might be looking though it wasn’t too long that shed been out of his sight.

He placed a soft knock and the door opened with a thud.

The old lady at the door spoke to Arvind in inquisition “Yes..?”

Just when he was about to speak, something else caught his attention. It was unmistakably the same beautiful face he had missed so much. Just the sight of her and he felt his knees weakening. The same brown eyes stared back her him and the tresses were neatly arranged though some managed to fly around her broad forehead, making her look even more stunning.

Suddenly something hit him hard in his mind, “Damn!” He said and fell on his knees and began to weep uncontrollably.

It took him an hour before he could recover the shock and looked at the lady who was now standing by his side. “Aunty, I don’t know... I...Just…” he fumbled, choosing the right words.

The lady gave him a flat look and drew a brown envelope from her cupboard without speaking a word. They both knew each other but the tie between them was now snapped by the fateful hands of time.

“Here” She said.

He sat adjacent to the wall from where he could not see Charu but she looked at him from behind the silver cast frame that was ornated with a blue white garland. The broad smile was invariably the same. He remembered this particular picture very well. It was her favourite and his too. He closed his eyes again, tighter this time to squeeze out the last drop of tears.

The flipped open the envelope and began to read. Slowly. Carefully.

Arvind,

Its been really difficult living without you, but what’s more difficult is to live with the fact that you love me no longer.

I have awaited your return since then, and today I give up and I give up on life.

I close my eyes with one last wish, please don’t turn around to hide your tears.

And yes, couldn’t tell you this the last day we met. “I love you”

“Me too...” He drew a deep breath and turned around, this time to face her.

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चारू कौशल | Charu Kaushal